Flight attendant

How to Tell You Are a Flight Attendant

1. You can eat a four course meal standing at the kitchen counter
2. You search for a button to flush the toilet
3. You look for the « crew line » at the grocery store
4. You can pack for a two week trip to Europe in one roll-aboard
5. All your pens have different hotel names on them
6. You NEVER unpack
7. You can recognize pilots by the backs of their heads-but not by their faces
8. You can tell from 70 yards away if a piece of luggage will fit in the overhead bin
9. You care about the local news in a city three states away
10. You can tie a neck scarf 36 ways
11. You know at least 25 uses for air sickness-bags none of which pertain to vomit
12. You understand and actually use the 24-hour clock
13. You own 2 sets of uniforms: fat and thin
14. You don’t think in « months » – you think in « bid packs » *
15. You always point with two fingers
16. You get a little too excited by certain types of ice
17. You stand at the front door and politely say, « Buh-bye, thanks, have a nice day » when someone leaves your home
18. You can make a sentence using all of the following phrases: « At this time, » « For your safety, » « Feel free, » and « As a reminder »
19. You know what’s on the cover of the current issues of In Touch, Star, and People magazines
20. You stop and inspect every fire extinguisher you pass, just to make sure the « gauge is in the green »
21. Your thighs are covered in bruises ** from armrests and elbows
22. You wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to figure out where you are
23. You refer to cities by their airport codes
24. Every time the doorbell rings you look at the ceiling
25. You actually understand every item on this list and I will add that as golfers, some of us say runway instead of fairway

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